My grandmother, Reba Brunetta Craft, was born on Christmas Day in 1919. At eighteen, she married my grandfather, became Reba Brunetta Rocker, and the couple migrated from Sparta to Atlanta, Georgia. They also welcomed the arrival of their first-born son, Samuel William Rocker, Jr., and at age 30, my grandparents welcomed an event that would, years later, precipitate my own existence: the birth of their eighth of twelve children, my mother, Jacqueline. The Rocker household, consisting of a Baptist minister and a housewife/PTA President, laid the foundation of moral and ethical fiber for my family for generations to come.

Having eleven maternal uncles and aunts increases your chances of having plenty of cousins--I have 26. And one of my earliest childhood memories is that of my first friend, cousin Monica. Monica always reminded me that she was older, and therefore the boss of me. Nowadays, I make sure to remind her that she is just plain older than I am.

I also remember being five or six years old and waking up at the crack of dawn every Monday, with my mother, to commute from Newark, NJ, where we lived, to Philadelphia, where she was a college professor. Mom held the family down while my father completed his M.B.A. Her efforts taught me the importance of sacrifice and the pursuit of long-term goals.

I also recall the day that my aunt, Mary Alice “Aunt May” Rocker, reprimanded me for not opening the door for her while we were out shopping. I was only seven, but within thirty seconds, came to lucidly understand the concept of chivalry. “Hello;” “thank you;” and “please” notwithstanding, Aunt May taught me my first lesson in becoming a gentleman.

When I was a teenager, my mother played surrogate mom to my homeboys who didn’t have mothers. She gave them advice about school, girls, values, and counseled them when they were in trouble. She and my father separated when I was in high school, and my mom became the head of our single parent home—raising my younger sister and I. She could no longer warn me, “Wait until your father gets home!” and, because I had outgrown her in size, her days of manhandling me were done. Our size difference probably explains why every morning, without fail, she would wake me up for school by beating on my bedroom door and yelling “LET’S GOOOOOO,” as if she were the East Orange Task Force. Very often I thought she had lost her natural mind. And although I had lots to say under my breath, I wouldn’t dare express my frustration openly. In retrospect, I’ve concluded that the duality of being nurturer and disciplinarian required my mom’s occasional yet tactical display of lunacy.

My mom also had a lot of philosophies to share when I was younger. As it related to girls, she’d tell me that “beauty fades. . . she better have more going for her than looks,” and concerning self-sufficiency she’d explain, “Love many, trust few, but learn to paddle your own canoe.” The philosophies that she now shares with me on the same topics are slightly more “grown-up” and less cloaked in rhyme.

The other women that I’ve encountered have also taught me valuable lessons. I still recall the day that I learned that a man is supposed to walk on the outside when in the presence of a woman. During my freshman year of high school, my friend’s sister, Maria, told Dana and me that the decisions we made as teenagers would ultimately determine our options as adults. When I attended Morehouse College, many Spelmanites helped me out with class assignments and provided their perspective on varying matters. When I started my first job, my Grandmother Louise instilled in me the importance of saving money and establishing good credit and financial goals, rather than keeping up with the Joneses. Through my work at Flavor Unit, Queen Latifah gave birth to my career by providing me with an opportunity to learn and establish myself in the entertainment industry. My friends and colleagues Sharon Heyward and Karen Durant further nurtured that career by hiring me for my first corporate gig, while teaching me leadership and how to be a well-rounded executive. And serving as a consultant to Lauryn Hill furthered my professional experience by allowing me to tour and experience music’s global impact.

While most women no longer have twelve children-families as my Grandma Rocker did, and some never have children at all, these women can still be considered mothers. Webster’s defines “mother” as either “a female parent,” or a woman who “exercises control, influence, or authority like that of a mother.” I also understand a mother to be one who offers advice, encouragement, and support.

You should consider yourself blessed if you’ve experienced the influence of a great woman who either is, was, or supported you like a mother. For my own blessings, I would like to acknowledge all of the world’s grandmothers, mothers, aunts, cousins, friends, girlfriends, classmates, colleagues, sisters, employers, best friend’s wives, and mentors who’ve impacted the lives of people they love and care for. But most importantly, I’d like to thank the tiny woman with the huge heart whom I call “mom”. . . I LOVE YOU J.ROCK.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!

Acknowledgements:
Proverbs 29:15

COMING SOON: Text KOBIEB to 67463 to receive the Kobie Chronicles to your mobile device